我的自由

我追求自由。

“人生的意义是什么？”我曾无数次的询问过这样的问题，终是个人答案不无相同。或是”吃遍天下美食，结识各路好汉“，或是”追求快乐“，或是”侍奉上帝“，或是”狗屁问题“。高僧的解释恐怕更为离谱，此不表。我的答案，则是”追求自由“。

虽然我潜心思考过，”自由“定义目前对我仍然不太确切，简而言之，便是”随心所欲“（注意没有“不逾矩”），又大致可分为精神自由与肉体自由。精神自由即是能够独立思考，不为外物所诱惑左右，一切思维活动全部都有内心所发出，纯粹不含欲念。这种自由与纯粹理性主义部分重合，而在思维活动的出发点又有不同，因为感性也应该可以触发思想，而纯理性主义则提倡封杀感性。精神自由又不同于实用主义，在于它强调精神的独立性，而实用主义则强调实用性，所有选择皆是依照最利于己的条件进行，所以精神是不可能达到独立的。

精神自由的另一点在于内心的平静。只有在保有独立的精神时，我们内心才不会外物所动。流言从我的左耳朵进，由右耳朵出，而我依旧是我自己。做到这一点，需要极其强大的自信心，而自信心一向是有实力所支持的，所以这就牵涉到肉体的自由。

肉体的自由包括健康与财务自由。其中健康最浅显--若是我缠绵病榻，又哪儿来的自由？即便是能做到精神的自由，这种自由也是非常脆弱的。财务自由则更难以定义与实现。我究竟有多少钱才算达到了财务自由？我若是没有很多钱，但是有掌控国家机器的权力，是否算是等价于财务自由？目前我并没有从政的意向，所以后者可以暂时忽略。然而对于前者，估量可能要考虑到我理想自由时的生活状态，即隐居深山，同时无饱暖之忧。仅仅是达到隐居所需金钱的底线是不够的，因为隐居归根结底是一种不稳固的生活方式，至少在中国，很可能你正在哪个山头采菊东篱下呢，远处咚咚的拖拉机就开来拆你的房子。（若此说来，即便是财务自由也是不够的？暂压。）而实现财务自由的方法，目前可想到的可行方法即为创业。

统言之，要实现自由，挑战最大的便是实现精神的独立与财务自由。在后者上，我虽然没有”富二代“这种外挂，但还是有优势的，至少我还有希望保住一份收入不错的工作，再不济为他人打工做辛苦的中产阶级还是可以的。

Update June 6th

我有个习惯，便是凡事都要问下这么做有什么意义，比如对于命题“我们应该努力学习”，便得问一下努力学习有什么意义。然而一直如此追究下去，总会推到一些最关键的问题，如刚刚的命题：”努力学习有什么意义？“ -- ”为了更深刻地了解世界“--”了解世界又有什么意义？“--等等。如我，这最终的命题可能便是“生命有什么意义？”所以最终，我们必须给这个究极命题一个确定无可置疑的答案，否则将陷入怀疑论的死路。

Update June 30th

零零碎碎又想了些。这个月内遇到不少挫折，加上工作琐事，碌碌忙到月末，不曾想过对自由的追求。尝读王摩诘集，见得诗佛虽是向往归隐，然而又无法舍弃红尘，辗转痛苦之中挨过一生，虽是成就了千秋诗名，对个人而言，无乃不够潇洒，不如青莲居士或东坡居士般豁达。该放直须放，无复多顾虑。

同时，别使自己过于忙碌，这样会至于无心思考与学习。不值得为着无谓的事情空耗精力，尽力无愧便可。

两脚踏翻尘世路，以天为盖地为庐

四年前未来美国时，我曾从师学习棍术。当时每周劈棍打拳，虽然常常累得精疲力尽，回头想想也是一番享受。师父二十出头，约莫大我三四岁，初中辍学外出闯荡，曾在武汉向寇飞学习双节棍一年，当时来合肥打工。他非但教棍与拳，还常常兜售一些人生哲理，经常说得我和师兄一愣一愣的。他当时的签名我记得很清楚：

一烟一棍走江湖，千古情愁酒一壶。两脚踏翻尘世路，以天为盖地为庐。

初时读来只觉得这些话写得豪迈不修边幅。而今，当年的游侠师父已经成了一个刺青店的老板，而我这个愣头的小伙也远离家乡，游荡于千里之外的大陆。再回头看此诗，竟隐隐有沧桑感扑面而来。漂泊使我很能理解师父当年的心境了。

还有几年，我还将继续漂下去吧？逐渐的，淡了天地穹庐的形骸，缺了傲然打铁的潇洒，却积了胸中的垒块与苟全性命的妥协。很快的我也会失去那颗赤子之心吧？不会的。生命不止，只要我不想老去，我的心就依旧年轻。

令羲和弥节兮，叹百川东去之不归。既恐美人之迟暮兮，何不乘骐骥以导先途？

The value of communication in an internship

I admit the title is big, and this passage may not fulfill the role of extensively evaluate the value of communication in internship in general, but let me just speak from my own experience. In particular, let me start with my internship experience in four companies so far.

All four companies are tech companies, and all are in different fields. For the first three however, I worked in the same geographical location as my other teammates, while for the fourth one, all my teammates are in Massachusetts, and I am the only one in California. This is when I realize the value of communication, as you know the value only when you lose it.

The delay of any communication is huge, sometimes hours. This poses a huge problem in a highly dynamic company culture. Meanwhile, our team is strictly following the agile software development method, with an iteration cycle of two weeks. Even one hour is thus highly valuable. To make things worse, as an intern and a new grad, there are many things for me to learn and familiarize, but I am always hesitated when I encounter a problem. If I can see my team lead or other teammate in person, I could directly ask if they are busy and if they can spare some minutes with me, but now, I need to assume they are busy all the time, so I have to solve all problems with my own hands. Sometimes this is a good practice, but it usually takes several or maybe tens times of efforts than simply asking for help. To make things worse, I can easily spend several hours working on an issue but end up with no result.

Some suggestions for interns and new starters:
-> Try to avoid the situation in which most of your team members are in a different geo location. Different buildings inside the same campus is okay, but different cities can be challenging.
-> If you happen to be separated from your teammates, don't get upset. Learn to adjust your working habits, including your working schedule, ways of communication, and so on. This is especially important for new full-time employees, as you will probably stay inside the company for years ahead, so it is better to get accustomed soon.
-> Working in a different location from your teammates is challenging as well as rewarding. You will be forced to communicate with your co-workers effectively, learn to make your words clear, and care about your tone in writing.